The Year 1974

1974 had been a mammoth year. 

Mum had retired from teaching.

Mum did The Grand Tour of the World with Joy Webber.

Kate and Jason were married.

This is an extraordinary photo! Mum wasn’t into street theatre. Her piano had been delivered to the unit in Walkerville but she was happy for it to go to Kate and Jason’s house. She had her last play of the piano with Jason and Kate and Jason’s parents all enjoying this unusual event. I guess they somehow secured it before its next trip because it arrived safely and Mum was no longer on board.

In 1977 we were all deeply shocked and saddened to learn that Julie Bagshaw had been killed in an accident in Greece.

Her body was brought back to Adelaide and thence to Lucindale.

This was a terribly sad funeral. 

Julie had been such a sweet person.  She actually lived with us at Largs for a year when she attended MLC. And we had all been close throughout her life. I visited her in Melbourne and she stayed with us at Rostrevor for a week or so before her trip overseas.

Her life was absolutely tragically cut short.

In 1978 Wayne and I had a short time together overseas.  Wayne had been attending a clown school in Amsterdam and was away for 3 months.  At the end of this period I was going to a conference in Canada and London.  There were a couple of weeks when we were away together and during this time the children stayed with Granny Parker in Burlington St. They had a very happy time together and it was quite a bonding experience for all of them.

When Kate was working for Adelaide Permanent Building Society (1979-84) Mum often accompanied her as the job required constant travel around South Australia, including the South East, the Riverland, Yorke Peninsula, Eyre Peninsula and all over the Adelaide metro & regional areas of Clare, the Barossa, and Victor Harbor. Mum thoroughly enjoyed these trips as many areas were familiar from her rural teaching experience in one-teacher schools.

Kate and Mum also took the opportunity while on these work trips to call in on various relatives and friends for a cuppa, including the Wundersitz & Wilsons on Yorke Peninsula, Mum’s brother Les in Riverton, a long-time teacher friend Doss Clements in Whyalla, her sister Win at Bordertown and Merna Richardson in Mount Gambier.

In 1981 Kate and Jason shifted to the new house they built in Stacey St Klemzig.

In 1981 on Sep 29^th Kate and Jason’s baby Jourdan was born. He was Granny’s third grandchild.

Kate and Jason had a daughter Jasmine in 1984. Granny now had 4 grandchildren.

Mum settled happily in Walkerville. She did mention once that she missed the passage/ hallway from our Largs Bay house, but otherwise she happily settled in to her new unit and her retired lifestyle. All her sisters loved the country feel of the view from her unit and Aunty Nell came to stay there each year for decades.

Her life was full.

On a Tuesday she attended a Lecture for Seniors in the Town Hall. This was intellectually and socially stimulating.

She had a bridge group which included Wayne’s mother Sylvia Anthoney and they met once a month.

And she attended the Uniting Walkerville church on Sundays.

She walked along the Torrens every day and did so for the rest of her life. 

This is an example of her personal discipline. That gammy leg never stopped her!  As an older woman she used a walker or a stick and walked quite confidently despite her limp. She never visited a physiotherapist or a hip specialist as it wasn’t necessary in her eyes.

Some people had said to her “You should be careful. There are some odd bods along those linear park paths”. Her response was “I don’t care about that. If someone is going to hit me as long as they do it hard enough I don’t care.”

Both Kate and I tried to keep in regular touch with her – often on the phone in an evening. Often daily! And there were many times when we’d just pop in to see her. She’d invariably have cooked her favourite ‘slice’ so that it was ready for us. We all loved that slice and her nut loaf.

In 1982, Molly organised a big get together for Aunty Aileen’s 80^th birthday

It was held at Molly and Ted’s property at Cockatoo Valley.

I love this next photo.

It reminds me that Aunty Nell when taking a photo would always say “Do you want your feet or your heads in the photo because I’ve never managed both.” It’s not only Aunty Nell who had that problem!

 It’s good to see Uncle Les was present too.  And note the two girls chuckling on the left. Aunty Nell has obviously said something a bit wicked and Aunty Kath is enjoying it. Missing are Aunty Ada who had died long ago in 1961 and Uncle Bob who had died in 1974.

Mary’s 75th Birthday

In 1986 Kate and I decided we should hold a birthday lunch for Mum’s birthday. She was about to turn 75. We had missed the 70^th so decided the 75th was the next best time. All the sisters were invited and some cousins as well. The Bowman family were also invited .

It was held at Kate’s house and was a very successful luncheon and celebration.

We had created am album as a present for Mum with early photos of the 8 siblings including some unusually casual photos of life in Clare and then the Sheoaks.  Many were tiny snapshots so I had them enlarged and there were copies for each family.

There was a “sealed sections” at the back of the album where the sisters and some friends wrote of their memories of Mid or Mary.  Many of these letters have  been included in this story.

There were several tables and chairs for the meal and the sisters were all together as in this photos.

Aunty Kath died in 1993 and is buried in the Clare cemetery.

 The two sisters Nell and Mid were the only ones left alive of the Famous Eight.

They had always been very close but now they relied on each other very regularly.

.The year 1993 was a terrible year for Mum and all of us in our family.

Wayne and I had separated in 1990 and our Norwood house was being put up for auction in March of this year.  It didn’t have any offers at the auction and there were open inspections throughout the year until we decided to take off the market in November. This was extremely stressful for me working full time and coping with the open inspections alone. Mum wore this concern and was as helpful as she could be.

However in early April she developed an intestinal blockage which created great pain. She was very ill and eventually had to be operated on in Calvary. The operation involved the removal of  a section of the intestine. This was done successfully but the recovery was very slow and then seriously delayed.

Jason’s accident, Mary’s cancer

On April 28^th Jason, Kate’s husband, was in a shocking accident in the middle of the CBD. It was during his lunch hour when he was walking to his car that a driver ran into him knocking him onto the top of the driver’s car.

The car ran across Flinders St with Jason on top and Jason was hurled head first into a brick fence. 

He was rushed to emergency in the Adelaide Hospital.

Kate was visiting Mum in the intensive care section of Calvary when the phone call came with the terrible news.

Kate was in terrible shock, as were their kids and all of our families.

Jason was put into a coma and there were grave fears for his life and the impact of his head injuries.

This awful time seemed to last for ever. Kate was strong and desperately wanting Jason to live no matter what else might be wrong.

Gradually over the next couple of weeks he was able to have the induced coma reduced. Finally he was able to speak, and when he was given his guitar he could still play it!!

This created such excitement and an enormous relief.

There have been some personality changes as a result of the awful head injuries but his vital energy, his life force and love of family and music were all intact. Fortunately he was a very fit young man who never smoked or drank unwisely. He recovered well and was taken care of by his family.

He worked for Beaumont Tiles and they were happy for him to return to his job when he was well enough. They actually have cared for Jason from this time until his retirement in 2022.

Meanwhile back to April 1993 Mum had been present when Kate received the news of Jason’s accident. She was still in recovery from her surgery but this news completely stopped any recovery. She was in shock and despite her being 82 years old the doctors decided that they had to repeat her surgery.

She was back in intensive care and everybody was concerned that surely this time she would be able to get well again  .

I remember the staff telling me that when she was gradually improving in intensive care, she suddenly farted and the staff all cheered and whooped for her.  She was most embarrassed but they quickly convinced her it meant her alimentary tract was working again.  The second operation had been a success.

(Not that she truly understood what had happened inside her body. She was still not wanting to know any anatomical details.)

Hooray.

She had survived it.

And so had Jason.

Kate had been an outstanding support for Jason.

Life gradually got back to a new normal.

Mum was well. Thank goodness she was in a small unit where she could mange to look after herself and enjoy the beauty of her views.

Most elderly people and doctors are concerned that two surgeries and double anaesthetics could affect one’s mental health.  But there was no sign of dementia in Mary Parker!!

During winter she would drive her car up Burlington St and park in the sunshine.  There she could sit in the warmth and read or listen to the radio.

She recovered fully.

Return to Happy Times

Her routine returned. It was a daily walk along the Torrens, Tuesday lecture group, bridge once a month, The Crows football in winter, the cricket in summer and enjoying being with her immediate family. The children all loved their Granny as much as we did. Aunty Nell was of course in constant contact.

Get-togethers continued and one Christmas Granny and I decided to perform at the Christmas lunch. We practiced together and performed the duet Qui Vive in the lounge at Norwood. It was of course sensational.

Mum and Aunty Nell often visited our house in Norwood. On this occasion there were two professors from the Philippines staying with me.

They had such a good time. There was an instant attraction between them all. There had been laughter and sharing of many bits of information over our lunch.

I wish they had been able to have even more time together but it wasn’t possible because the Philippine professors were on a tight conference schedule.

The photo demonstrates their warmth and enjoyment.

I enjoyed being with Mum on the trip and we had a lot of laughs on the journey.

We were aware of being close to Moree and where the Longmires had first shifted from Kybunga.

At last we got to Goondiwindi in Queensland.

What a joy it as to be with Aunty Nell again.

I recall walking along the creek at Aunty Nell’s in the late afternoon watching the skyline and the birdlife. I was sitting very still when an enormous bird came into view. I had never seen any bird larger than a pelican and this one was huge. It landed across the creek from me and I was spellbound. I found out later it was a jabiru.

When it took off again it was with the grace of a ballerina and the slow strength of a jumbo jet. But unlike a jet it was quite silent. An unforgettable experience. 

I have had so many wonderful experiences when staying with Aunty Nell.

Here are the sisters together in Queensland.

Our friends became Mum’s friends.

When I went overseas in 2000, Helen Seamark and Dale Bagshaw and Peggy went our of their way to visit Mum and check she was alright.

Peggy was my old school friend and she and she and her husband Ted Buckler used to visit her regularly. They really enjoyed her company and vice versa.

Here they are on a visit to Norwood in order to see her.

Mum was diagnosed with stomach cancer in 1997.

She never complained of pain, just “a little discomfort.”

It was expected that she could die within a very short time, but she lived comfortably  for 4 more years. Her daily walk continued until 2001.

Granny’s last outing was to visit Tom and Sarah’s new baby Oscar, in Calvary Hospital, January 2001.

Having retired in 1997 I was available to be with her whenever she needed help. She almost never requested help but I was able to visit her most days in the last few years. Kate was working but also able to call in regularly.

This is the last photo we have of her. She was still enjoying company although getting more frail.

Mary’s Death

She became too weak in 2001 to be taken to the doctor, so Dr Gower started visiting her at home and soon he decided that she should go to the Mary Potter hospice at Calvary. She agreed. There was a lovely atmosphere in the Mary Potter hospice and she felt very contented there. She couldn’t bear the morphine which they usually administered to their patients because it made her feel “funny” and she disliked that feeling. So they agree and it was stopped.

She enjoyed listening to CDs including her favourite Bryn Terfel the Welsh tenor. She loved people visiting. Wayne visited and Michael Jacobs and of course Kate and Jason and me. Her new great grandson Oscar was a little 4 month old new addition to the family, and he visited her with his Mum and Dad, Sarah and Tom. He cried at one stage and the staff commented that the hospice patients loved hearing a baby even if it was a cry.

 She loved watching the television and really enjoyed the annual footy match between Collingwood and Essendon on April 25^th..

On April 26th she felt faint when she was having her shower, so the staff put her to bed gently.

And she simply died.

An amazing life had ended.

^{Mary Parker died on April 26th 2001}

^{Perhaps Michael’s poem could go in here or somewhere nearby.}

Her funeral was held at her home church –the  Walkerville Uniting Church.

It was held on Wednesday May 2^nd at 300pm.

Christie was able to get home from Scotland to Adelaide by that date.

And friends and family came from Alice Springs, Victoria, Queensland, Western Australia, the York Peninsular and Kangaroo Island and many country towns.

Howard Simpson who was her student at New Way School 70 years earlier was at the service.

It was a beautiful family service with the eulogies by Meredith, Christie and Jan Roberts (nee Bagshaw) and a reading by Tom – 1st Corinthians ch. 13. The eulogies are posted on the web site.

We had afternoon tea at the church afterwards. The local parishioners supplied the tea and sandwiches for their departed fellow parishioner. That was a lovely gesture.

Mary was cremated and her ashes have been placed in Ralph’s grave at Centennial Park.